confession

it took me more than nine years to finally have the courage to write this letter. in truth, i should have done this the day you treated us out to snacks just before our high school graduation. but i haven't got the courage then; afterall, sixteen is fairly young to say what I would like to say back then.

i do not know where i borrowed the courage now. i claim to have learned a lot of lessons through the years. and through those, i've learned that i am strong and brave, and that there is no subtitute for the truth.

maybe it is in knowing that you are leaving the country soon. there is a bit of comfort in knowing that there is that blanket of certainty that i will not bump into you and risk the awkwardness. afterall, this confession is nine years overdue.

maybe it is just now that i have realized that i am ready to take the leap and take flight towards my dreams. and in doing so, i need to free myself from all the loose ends i have had through the years.

or maybe, i just thought that a girly-teenage confession is way passé at our age.

so whatever the reason for this sudden courage may be, i just want to confess that i've been inlove with you in high school. i was inlove with you.

so there, that's the truth that until this time, i never had the courage to admit to anyone. sometimes, not even to myself.

but please don't feel burdened about this in any way. it was never my intention to pass the burden in writing this. i just want to be true to you and to myself.

i wish you the best in everything that you do and to wherever your dreams may take you. soar high. live for your dreams. be happy.

God bless you.

cowardice

dearest,

i claim to own the words sometimes. i claim to know how to use them to tell people how i feel. i claim to have the strength to say the words and bare my heart. in truth, i cannot. for every word that i would like you to read is a piece of my heart. i am not a writer, i do not own the words. but i own my heart.

and right now, i cannot find the right words to borrow to let you know what i feel because in truth, i cannot define it. there's no song for it, but i feel the music.

i will tell you sometime, but until then, i'd go looking for the words until i find them. for they are the only ones that can tell my story.

someday i'll take the leap. someday...

signed: me